On a Southwest Airlines flight earlier this month, a passenger sitting next to a pregnant mom traveling alone with her 20-month-old son offered to help soothe the toddler by walking the aisles of the plane. Another passenger who witnessed the act said she was moved to tears.
I saw this story and thought about a recent diary here on DKos that was coming down hard on perceived busy bodies who try and interfere with child rearing. On a SW flight, this mother did not take the offer to soothe her child as an affront or a commentary on her parenting skills. Instead, she readily took advantage of a stranger’s offer to help share the burden of soothing her child.
In an interview with “Today,” the mom, Monica Nelson, said she was surprised when her fellow passenger offered to help, but she was grateful because flying without her husband makes her nervous.
I’ll be honest, that diary really bothered me as I like to help people I see in need. If someone is having a hard time, I always step up and help. The thought that my actions would be misinterpreted as an insult or as being a busy body was alarming. This man, sitting next to the mother, could have easily been seen as interfering because he could no longer handle the crying, fussy baby sitting inches from his ear. Alternatively, he is seen as a hero trying to help a fellow passenger.
...Her son was upset and fussy. [The man] did not complain, he just told her that he was a DAD [sic], and wanted to help her so she could rest,” passenger Andrea Byrd wrote in a Sept. 5th Facebook post, which was shared over 100,000 times.
I started worrying about all the doors I have held open for people. Did they think I was being rude, or worse, sexist? What about when I gave the person ahead of me a couple of pennies so they wouldn’t have to dig through their pockets to find change? Did they think I was meddling? Someone drops their bag at the grocery store and I stop to help them pick it up. Did they think I was intruding? A baby is crying and I smile at it and give it a little wave and a funny face. The baby stops crying, but did I just offend the mom?
I started having nightmares of helping an old lady across the street, only to have her turn to me and say, “Thanks, but I was waiting on the bus!”
All of these thoughts plagued me after reading that diary.
But then I realized that in trying to help, sometimes your motives are going to be misinterpreted, but you can’t let that stop you from trying to help others. It’s not always easy or appreciated but it’s the right thing to do.
You might even end up a hero with a story about your good deed on Huffington Post, Facebook and the appearance of a grateful mom on Today rather than the subject of a rant on a blog.
It’s a chance I’m willing to take.